


Here's To Robert.

by lullabelle_moon



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: Angst, Cancer treatment, Established Relationship, Hurt and comfort, Illness, M/M, Talk of Dying, Vomiting, cancer.
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-05
Updated: 2017-07-05
Packaged: 2018-11-28 05:20:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,599
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11411052
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lullabelle_moon/pseuds/lullabelle_moon
Summary: It all started with a back ache. Robert is sick.





	Here's To Robert.

It started with a back ache. Robert had complained about it one morning, had figured he had slept funny and ignored it until it was so painful he could barely walk. He took himself home and popped several ibuprofen, laying flat on the sofa and letting Aaron fuss about. He assumed it was just his back. Then the stomach pains started,  
"You okay?"  
Robert pushed away his still full plate and shifted on the chair,  
"Yeah I just...I don't feel hungry."  
Aaron took him in, concern etching his features,  
"Rob?"  
He reached across the table and took his hand,  
"I'm fine. I just..."  
He shook his head slightly, his skin growing hot, mouth both dry and filled with saliva at the same time,  
"I need the loo."  
He moved quickly, his stomach already lurching as he felt the bile rise. He made it to the cubicle and collapsed to his knees, gripping the porcelain as he threw up again and again until he was dry heaving and coughing. He reached up with a shaky hand and pressed the flush, resting his head on his arm,  
"Rob? You okay?"  
He groaned in response, knowing if he moved he would be sick again. He started slightly at Aaron's hand on his back,  
"Hey? Sit up."  
Aaron knelt down, grabbing sheets of toilet paper and giving them to the man to wipe his mouth,  
"You sick?"  
Robert threw the paper into the toilet and then lurched, heaving a few times then exhaling sharply,  
"Must be something I ate."  
He spat into the bowl and then put his head back,  
"I wanna go home."  
Aaron nodded,   
"Yeah. Yeah course."  
He stood up, holding his hand out and helping Robert to his feet,  
"Okay?"  
He cupped the back of his head and frowned, moving his hand to Robert's forehead,  
"You're burning up. How long have you felt sick?"  
Robert shrugged,  
"I don't know...I just wanna go home."  
Aaron rubbed his back, following him from the toilet and out of the pub; walking slowly with him until they were back the flat,  
"Do you wanna go straight upstairs?"  
Robert nodded, pulling his jacket off and then pausing,  
"Shit."  
He clamped his hand over his mouth and ran to the sink, throwing up again and gagging,  
"Okay...you're okay."  
Aaron rubbed his back slowly as Robert groaned,  
"There you go..."  
He moved to the fridge, grabbing a bottle of water and some paper towels,  
"Come on."  
He turned the tap on and led Robert upstairs,  
"Lay down. I'll grab you a bowl."  
Robert toed his shoes off, laying down slowly and rolling onto his side. By the time Aaron came back upstairs he was asleep, curled in foetal position, a sheen of sweat on his face. Aaron sat beside him, pushing his hand through the man's hair and placing the bowl next to him before turning the lamp off, pressing a kiss to his temple and leaving him be.

"He still sick?"  
Aaron wiped his mouth and put the lid back on the water bottle,  
"Yeah."  
Adam nodded,  
"Vic offered to make him soup. Take it round every day."  
Aaron sighed,  
"Might as well try. He's not kept anything solid down the last four days. Tried him on that peppermint tea nonsense 'cos mum suggested it and it was like a scene from the Exorcist."  
Adam winced,  
"Damn."  
Aaron folded his arms,  
"Yeah...he just sleeps and throws up. Then headaches and...I keep telling him to go the doctor but he just says it's food poisoning. Or it's flu. I don't know."  
Adam nodded,  
"Well, wish him well."  
Aaron smirked,  
"Yeah I will."  
He checked the paper work in front of him then looked at his watch,  
"Actually if it's alright-"  
"Go. Go on. It's fine."  
Aaron nodded,  
"Cheers."  
He gathered his things, heading back to the flat quickly. He walked in, dropping his keys into the bowl and checking the fridge,  
"Rob?"  
He couldn't hear him, presumed he was in bed still,  
"Rob, you hungry? I thought you could try crackers or something. Something dry."  
He headed up the stairs and looked into the bedroom, finding it empty,  
"Rob?"  
He glanced into the bathroom, his stomach dropping,  
"Rob!"  
He ran in; the man was unconscious on the floor, hand still clinging to the bowl, blood on his chin.  
"Robert? Robert open your eyes, come on. ROBERT."  
He reached for his phone, hands shaking as he dialled 999,  
"I need an ambulance."

Aaron sat watching the drip, holding Robert's hand gently and stroking his hair,  
"Morning."  
He looked around at the nurse and gave a warm smile; three days in the hospital and they had been brilliant, letting him stay with Robert and keeping him going with cups of tea. The nurse checked Robert's chart and then moved around,  
"No Victoria this morning?"  
Aaron sat back so she could check on Robert,  
"Coming in later. His step mum too."  
The nurse smiled, leaning over and touched Robert's arm,  
"Robert?"  
He stirred, waking slowly and groaning slightly,  
"Hello sweetheart. How are you feeling today?"  
Robert rubbed his eyes,  
"Like I've been hit by a truck."  
The nurse smiled at him,  
"I'm afraid the medication does that. Do you think you can manage some food?"  
He shook his head,  
"I'm not hungry."  
Aaron felt his heart sink; he hadn't eaten anything in days,  
"Rob.."  
The nurse checked his drip,  
"It's okay. We can use the tube."  
Robert winced; he hated the tube. The doctors had inserted it after Robert had been unable to eat. The man turned his head to look at Aaron, a small smile on his lips,  
"Says on your chart you're in for an MRI later."  
Aaron took Robert's hand again as he turned back to the nurse,  
"Yeah."  
She smiled at him,  
"Don't worry about having it. It's not as scary as it seems."  
Robert smirked,  
"I've dealt with my mother law when she's angry. Nothing scares me now."  
Aaron nudged his arm,  
"Rude."  
Robert looked over at him and chuckled,  
"Kidding."  
Aaron pulled a face,  
"Nah...you're not."  
Robert laughed, a sharp sound followed by a groan of pain; Robert tried to pull himself into foetal position again, stopped by the tubes attached to him,  
"Ah FUCK."  
Aaron jumped to his feet as the nurse grabbed Robert's shoulders and eased him back, turning his pain medication up and grabbing the oxygen mask, placing it on his face and talking to him,  
"Just breathe sweetheart...there you go...there it is."  
Robert settled back and reached for Aaron's hand, gripping it tightly as the pain ebbed away. The nurse checked the machine,  
"I'm just gonna get the doctor, it's nothing to worry about."  
She added the last part quickly, not meeting either man's eye as she hurried out. Robert reached for the mask, pulling it off and looking at Aaron,  
"It's bad. Right? Whatever's wrong with me."  
Aaron shook his head repeatedly, taking Robert's hand again,  
"No...no it'll be nothing. A-an ulcer."  
Robert scoffed,  
"You believe that as much as you believe in Santa. It's bad. Something has gone wrong inside me and it's not getting any better."  
Aaron clenched his jaw a few times then looked down. It was was enough; Robert looked up at the ceiling and let out a long breath, neither man speaking as he put the mask back on his face and squeezed his eyes tightly shut.

"Did you hear about Robert?"  
Priya took her coffee from Brenda,  
"No?"  
Brenda glanced around as though expecting him to appear suddenly,  
"Poor lad. Stomach cancer."  
Priya's mouth fell open,  
"What?"  
Brenda nodded,  
"Had Chas in here earlier, she was on the phone and I heard it. Apparently that ambulance last week was for him. He's in hospital now."  
Priya clicked her tongue,  
"Oh god...poor Robert."  
Brenda nodded solemnly,  
"It's Aaron I feel sorry for. I mean, it's not great survival rates. And he's so young...losing his husband like that it's gonna be-"  
"Gonna be what?"  
They hadn't even heard the door open, the both looked around and froze at the sight of Aaron standing there, Liv by his side and scowls on their faces,  
"Aaron I didn't-"  
"Robert's gonna be fine."  
Brenda clasped her hands together,  
"I know that love I was just-"  
"Save it."   
He turned on his heel and left; Liv looked the two women up and down,  
"Nice. Talking about him in the middle of the cafe like he doesn't matter."  
Priya reached out toward her,  
"Liv we didn't mean-"  
"Whatever. Go gossip somewhere else."  
She folded her arms and stormed off after Aaron, running to catch him up as he headed toward his car,  
"Aaron?"  
He stopped and looked at her,  
"I'm heading back."  
She dropped her arms,  
"You haven't even had breakfast."  
He rubbed his forehead with the side of his hand then jerked his head to the passenger side,  
"You coming to see him or what?"  
Liv nodded, heading round and climbing into the car and buckling her belt as Aaron climbed in as well, slamming the door shut and gripping the steering wheel tightly. He stared at the road in front until his eyes blurred; starting when Liv touched his arm,  
"You alright?"  
He cleared his throat,  
"Yeah."  
He started the engine, turning the radio up to drown out his thoughts as he drove them back toward the hospital.

Liv trailed behind him, slowing down as they got to the room. Robert was still recovering from the surgery, still bandaged up, still with tubes attached to him. The nurse smiled sweetly at them,  
"Hello again."  
Aaron smiled, leaning down and kissing Robert's head, pushing fingers through his hair then looking over at the nurse,  
"How's he been?"  
The nurse looked up from the chart,  
"He's been sleeping. He was awake for a little bit when we checked the incision but mostly he's been sleeping. The medication will make him quite dopey for a while so it's best to let him sleep it off."  
She wrote something on the chart then put it away before stepping around the two,  
"The doctor should be on rounds at about half eleven."  
Aaron nodded toward her,  
"Thanks."  
He looked at Liv,  
"You can sit down if you want."  
She lingered near the end of the bed, watching Robert. He looked smaller somehow. Curled up slightly on his side, skin pale and tubes everywhere she could see. She looked down, rubbing her nose then stepped away,  
"I'm gonna get you a cuppa. And something to eat."  
Aaron nodded toward her as she left, his attention already back on Robert. He pushed his hand through the man's hair and smiled as he began to stir,  
"Hey sleepy head."  
Robert looked at him and gave a small smile, his hand inching slowly to take Aaron's,  
"I fell asleep."  
His voice was gravelly, laced with the dopiness that came from anaesthetic,  
"Yeah...you had a long day."  
Robert's eyes were already closing again,  
"I had a big meeting."  
Aaron smiled, pushing his free fingers into his hair again,  
"Yeah you did. It went well."  
Robert mumbled something before shifting slightly, already asleep again by the time Aaron tried to answer.

Robert wasn't listening to Aaron as he talked. He was nervous, scared, Robert could tell by his seemingly desperate need to fill the silence of the car ride. The chemo had taken it out of him. Six weeks of hell; he was exhausted; he felt sick all the time and everyone's pitiful looks weren't helping. For weeks he'd been trying to keep spirits up, trying to be as strong as he could. Aaron never saw him break down, never knew about how he would lock himself in the bathroom and lie if he cool floor in foetal position, arms around his middle as he bit down on a towel in an attempt to silently scream out the pain he felt every minute. He would clean himself up, and he would fix a smile to his face. The doctor had called that morning and asked them to come in and discuss the blood tests and scans he had had the day before. Robert knew then that it wasn't good news. Aaron had been talking almost nonstop. Telling him it would be okay, that everything would be fine by the end of the day. He looked out of the window, zoning out until he couldn't hear anything. Keeping the constant buzzing in his mind going until Aaron stopped the car and touched his arm.   
"Hey? You ready?"  
Robert looked at him for a long moment; taking in his face and then pulling him in slowly he kept his eyes open as he kissed him. He watched Aaron intently as the man pulled away before looking down at their hands, running his thumb over Aaron's wedding ring then nodding,  
"Ready."  
Aaron squeezed his fingers and climbed from the car, moving around and helping Robert out and to his feet,  
"I'm okay."  
Aaron held his hands up,  
"I know."  
Robert wrapped his arms around himself and stepped away as Aaron locked the door,  
"I'm sorry."  
Aaron frowned, rubbing his arm,  
"You don't have to."  
Robert shook his head,  
"Yeah I do..."  
He rubbed his face,  
"Look, whatever happens in there. Whatever he says...I just wanna say thank you. I couldn't do this without you."  
Aaron couldn't answer him and Robert just nodded,  
"I just needed to tell you. I love you."  
Aaron clicked his tongue and immediately hugged him, his heart breaking at his already much slimmer frame,  
"I love you too."  
Robert gripped him tightly, relishing in the feel of the man, burying his face in his neck and taking a deep breath before he pulled away,  
"Come on. Let's get it over with."  
Aaron put his hand flat against Robert's back, taking a deep breath and leading him toward the hospital.

"Mr Sugden, hello."  
He shook the doctors hand and sat down in the chair; Aaron beside him as the doctor took his own seat,  
"Tell me then."  
The doctor sighed,  
"I'm sorry."  
Robert stared at him, his eyes beginning to unfocus as the doctor told him that the chemo wasn't working. The cancer wasn't going. He wasn't going to survive unless they changed his chemo to a much more aggressive version. He looked over at Aaron, he could see his mouth moving but he couldn't hear anything. He was studying him, the length of his eyelashes, the line of his jaw. His lips as he spoke. His heart was banging in his chest as he tried to remember the last time he had told Aaron how beautiful he was. He wanted to cover him with kisses and make sure he knew exactly how much he adored him. He was getting upset, Robert could see the tears in his eyes. He wanted to reach out and hold him,  
"Robert?"  
He blinked, suddenly back in the room,  
"Yeah?"  
The doctor gave him a sympathetic smile,  
"I know it's a lot to take in. Go home. Talk with your family."  
Robert nodded dumbly and looked at Aaron again as he talked to the doctor. His mind was racing as they talked until Aaron stood up and shook the guys hand,  
"Robert?"  
He swallowed and looked at the doctor again,  
"How long?"  
He frowned slightly, sitting back down,  
"I'm sorry."  
Robert blinked,  
"How long do I have?"  
Aaron sat back down slowly,  
"Rob.."  
He ignored him as the doctor clasped his hands together,  
"If we take the more aggressive form of treatment then you have years-"  
"And if I don't?"  
The doctor nodded slightly,  
"Six months. Maybe a year."  
Robert sat back and exhaled sharply,  
"Six months?"  
Aaron grabbed his hand,  
"Robert that doesn't matter. It doesn't matter."  
He looked at Aaron again and then at the doctor,  
"And this aggressive form...it's guaranteed?"  
The doctor hesitated,  
"Nothing is guaranteed."  
"So I could still die in six months?"  
The doctor held his hand up slightly,  
"Your chances will still be better than if you don't do anything."  
Robert nodded and looked down, his eyes focusing on the bruise on his hand from the last drip,  
"Thank you."  
He stood up and shook the doctors hand,  
"Talk it over. Take a day to think. There are still options."  
He nodded again before turning and leaving the room, Aaron close behind.

He wasn't listening to any of them. Sat around in the living discussing what the doctor had said. Victoria was crying, she had started the second he told them it hadn't worked. Aaron was planning. Exactly what steps had to be taken. Liv didn't speak. She just sat back, Robert wanted to sit with her, to ignore everything that was happening and just escape into her world instead of this one.   
"We just need to focus on keeping healthy now, keeping strength up."  
Robert looked up at Aaron as he spoke,  
"I mean, we can do that. Even if it's aggressive we can get through it."  
Robert narrowed his eyes as Aaron talked, annoyance building inside him until he couldn't handle anymore. He pushed his hands through his hair and groaned,  
"God, just shut up!"  
He stood up,  
"Just shut up!"  
Aaron looked at him in shock and reached for his hand,  
"Robert-"  
He pulled his hand out of reach and moved to leave,  
"No. All this bullshit you're spouting, we we we there is no we in this. You're not going through it. I am! I'm the one with this thing, I'm the one who's dealing with it. I'm the one that's dying. Not you. Just shut up."  
He left the room, heading upstairs and slamming the bathroom door behind him. He gripped the sink, fingers turning white as he tried to calm himself down. He looked in the mirror, his own face staring back at him but he didn't recognise it. His skin was pale, shadows under his eyes were deep. He had lost weight and his cheekbones were sharp, eyes sunken; he hated how he looked. He hated how his hair was thinning, how he felt hideous, the scar on his stomach an ugly line. He slid down onto the floor and sat, back against the bath tub and legs stretched out before him. He looked down at himself, and he began to cry.

He pulled the duvet around himself more tightly as Aaron came back in and sat on the bed. They hadn't spoken properly in hours. Robert was wracked with guilt for yelling at him. He waited for Aaron to settle down before rolling over and putting the duvet down. He looked at the man, noting his red eyes and clenched jaw as he stared at the ceiling and suddenly felt terrified. He sat up, turning to look at Aaron,  
"I'm sorry."  
Aaron looked at him,  
"It's fine."  
Robert exhaled,  
"No...it's not. I shouldn't have had a go at you. I know you're trying to help."  
Aaron gave a small smile then chewed his lip, trying to think of what to say but coming up short,  
"This isn't what you signed up for. If you wanna leave I understand."  
Aaron sat up at that,  
"You want me to leave?"  
Robert looked at him,  
"I don't want you to have to deal with all this."  
Aaron edged closer, cupping Robert's cheek,  
"I married you remember. For better or worse. I'm not going anywhere."  
He glanced down at Robert's lips,  
"And neither are you."  
Robert huffed a laugh,  
"Promise?"  
Aaron met his eye,  
"I promise. As long as I'm breathing nothing's gonna happen to you."  
Robert smirked,  
"I don't think you can promise that."  
Aaron shrugged,  
"I can promise anything."  
Robert lifted his head as Aaron stroked his skin,  
"You're so beautiful."  
Robert scoffed,  
"No I'm not."  
He looked down at himself,  
"I'm hideous."  
Aaron pressed their heads together, his voice dropping to a whisper,  
"You're perfect."  
Robert met his eye again briefly before leaning in and kissing him, softly at first until Aaron relaxed, his mouth falling open for the man's tongue and his hand cupping the back of his neck. They fell into the pillows, kisses slow and deep until Robert lifted his head,  
"You okay?"  
He looked down at Aaron for a moment,  
"I want you."  
Aaron frowned for a moment before cupping his face again,  
"Are you sure?"  
Robert swallowed, a shaky smile on his lips,  
"I'm not gonna break."  
Aaron's eye were still full of concern,  
"Please, Aaron? I just...I just wanna feel you. I want my husband...my beautiful husband."  
Aaron swallowed then leant in, meeting his lips in a kiss then pulling back again,  
"Lie down."  
He looked down at Robert as he lay, reaching to stroke Aaron's arm as he grabbed what he needed from the drawer before leaning down and kissing him again,  
"Tell me to stop if it's too much okay?"  
Robert nodded, spreading his legs and pulling Aaron on top of him with another kiss.

"Move. Move please..."  
Aaron's arms were shaking with the effort of holding himself up, his shallow thrusts into the man not enough for either but his fear of hurting him too great to move as he used to,  
"Aaron..."  
He dropped down to his elbows and buried his face in Robert's neck; kissing and licking his skin as Robert arched his back and wrapped his legs more tightly around him.   
"I need you..."  
Aaron lifted himself again,  
"I got you..."  
He groaned, shifting himself slightly and picking up his pace; filling the room with the sound of their mingled breathing and occasional moans as Aaron brought him closer to release. Robert clung to him, arms around his neck and back arched as he let out a deep groan and came in thick ropes across his stomach and chest before collapsing into the bed and moaning. Aaron picked up his pace; too far gone to be able to do anything else, he slammed their lips together; whimpering slightly as his hips stuttered and he came hard. He pulled out and collapsed beside him, gasping for breath before rolling over and kissing Robert again,  
"Are you okay?"  
Robert nodded, immediately pulling him in again,  
"I love you."  
Aaron smiled, stroking his cheek gently,  
"I love you too."  
Robert closed his eyes and nodded, smiling gently as Aaron kissed his forehead before he climbed from the bed and went to the ensuite to get a towel. When he came back in; Robert was asleep. He watched him for a moment then sat gently beside him, cleaning the mess from his chest then pressing a kiss to his head before climbing into the bed beside him and watching over him until he fell asleep himself.

Aaron sat up, fully awake, the moment he heard it; the tell tale sound of Robert throwing up. He jumped from the bed and headed to the bathroom where he found Robert sitting on the floor, head in the toilet bowl and one hand in his hair. Aaron grabbed the glass from the side of the sink and filled it with cold water. He sat slowly beside him and rubbed his back gently,  
"Hey?"  
Robert lifted his head and looked at Aaron,  
"Did I wake you?"  
Aaron reached over and flushed the toilet, handing Robert the glass and grabbing some toilet roll to clean his mouth,  
"It's fine."  
Robert took the glass from him with shaky hands, grateful for Aaron for helping him,  
"Sip it. Don't gulp."  
He took a drink and put the glass down, taking a few deep breaths and then lurching, head back in the bowl as he threw up again.  
"It's okay...it's okay."  
Robert groaned, lifting his head and shaking it,  
"No it's not."  
He took the toilet paper to clean his mouth again before slumping back against the bathtub. Aaron looked around And climbed to his feet, grabbing the hoodie from the back of the door and draping it around Robert's shoulders before sitting beside him again. The man leant against him, shivering slightly in the cool air of the early morning,  
"I can't do this much longer Aaron."  
Aaron closed his eyes, clenching his jaw to keep his emotions under check at the sound of Robert's defeated voice,  
"It's okay....it's gonna be okay."  
Robert pushed him away and shook his head,  
"You don't get it do you?"  
Aaron looked at him,  
"Tell me then."  
Robert wiped his nose on the back of his hand,  
"I'm tired. I'm so tired of all of this."  
He gestured to himself,  
"I'm broken. And I'm done."  
He looked down then met Aaron's eye, tears spilling to match those on Aaron's cheeks,  
"I don't have anymore strength."  
Aaron swallowed and cupped his face,  
"Yes you do. You told me once that I was the strongest person you know. But you were wrong. You are. You're the strongest and you can do this."  
Robert met his eye, leaning into the touch of Aaron's hand, closing his eyes as he wiped the tears from his cheeks with his thumbs,  
"I'm scared."  
He opened his eyes slowly,  
"I'm so scared Aaron."  
He gasped quietly, pushing himself closer into Aaron's waiting arms, gripping him as tightly as he could as Aaron held him close and let him cry.

"Where's Robert?"  
Aaron didn't answer, hadn't answered since she arrived, had just stared into space as he attempted for the eighth time that morning to make a cup of tea.   
"Aaron, love?"  
He blinked again, the clatter of the spoon in the empty mug filling his ears until Chas's hand against his stopped him.  
"Love?"  
Aaron looked at her; everything hitting him at once as his face crumpled and he immediately wrapped his arms around her neck and cried,  
"Oh love..."  
He gripped her tightly, eyes squeezed shut as he tried to calm himself down, pulling in shuddering breaths before letting go of Chas and wiping his eyes,  
"I'm okay."  
She cupped his cheek,  
"No you're not."  
He took a steadying breath,  
"I have to be."  
She clicked her tongue,  
"Come here."  
Pulling him in for another hug she rubbed his back and clenched her jaw to keep herself from crying,  
"You're going to be okay. I promise."  
He nodded, pulling away again,  
"I need to make Robert something. He's upstairs."  
She nodded,  
"What time is the appointment?"  
Aaron sniffed,  
"It's uh...half two."  
Chas rubbed his arm,  
"Do what you need. I'll see to him."  
Aaron gave a small smile and nodded as Chas turned and headed up the stairs, going to their bedroom and knocking gently on the door,  
"Rob?"  
She opened it slowly and froze, her heart stopping for a full beat at the sight of Robert slumped forward on the chair,   
"Robert?"  
She ran over, relief flooding her entire being as he stirred and lifted his head slowly,  
"Hmm?"  
She smiled, kneeling before him and taking his hand,  
"You gave me a damn fright Sugden."  
He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and groaned,  
"I must've fallen asleep."  
Her eye fell on the pages scattered on the small table they had set up for him by the bed,  
"What are you working on?"  
Robert sat up slowly and reached for some of the pages,  
"I'm writing letters."  
Chas moved, sitting on the bed, moving a sheet as she did, she lifted it up and scanned it,  
"This is to Liv?"  
He looked at her for a moment then looked away,  
"Yeah."  
Chas glanced down, scanning the odd word then looked at him again,  
"Robert?"  
He fiddled with putting the pages back into a folder,  
"I have to do it."  
She handed him the letter to Liv,  
"Do what?"  
He didn't meet her eye,  
"I have to say goodbye."  
He closed the folder and sighed,  
"The treatment isn't gonna work. It's not worked so far...so I'm preparing."  
He looked at her,  
"Letters...a will...bank stuff...I've been working on it since I was diagnosed. I have everyone done...except Aaron."  
He looked away again, his jaw clenching,  
"I can't-"  
He stopped himself and cleared his throat,  
"I can't write his."  
He looked at her again then pushed himself slowly to his feet, Chas got up and helped him,  
"Steady..."  
He looked at her for a long moment before speaking,  
"I am sorry. For everything I did. To you...to Aaron. Especially to Aaron."  
Chas gripped his arms,  
"Careful...starting to sound like a goodbye as well."  
He looked away and she cupped his cheek gently,  
"You listen to me. You...are gonna get through this. You will fight and you will win. Do you hear me? You are not gonna have to say goodbye. Not for a long time."  
He nodded,  
"Yeah."  
She hugged him,  
"We're not losing you to this Robert. Do you hear me?"  
He hugged her,  
"I hear it."  
She smiled and pulled back,  
"You coming down?"  
He rubbed his head,  
"Yeah. Yeah I just need the bathroom. Then I'll be down."  
She rubbed his arm and smiled gently, leaving him to it as she made her way back down to Aaron. She watched him as he made up a plate of food then walked over,  
"He's on his way down."  
He didn't look at her as he reached for an apple, cutting it up and putting it on the plate,  
"He's given up."  
She frowned slightly,  
"What?"  
He paused then looked at her,  
"He's given up...he doesn't want the treatment."  
He shrugged,  
"Now we wait for him to die."  
He said it so nonchalantly that it chilled Chas to the bone,  
"Aaron-"  
She was cut off by Robert coming down the stairs. Aaron turned and smiled at Robert,  
"All good?"  
He nodded, sitting on the arm of the chair and taking a moment before climbing to his feet again,  
"What can I do?"  
Aaron gripped his wrist and kissed his cheek,  
"Sit and eat. We gotta leave after."  
Robert looked down at the plate of food and grimaced slightly,  
"Aaron-"  
"No arguments. Eat it."  
He sighed and reached for the glass of juice,  
"Take your pills."  
Aaron handed him the two tablets and watched him as he popped them in his mouth and took a drink, swallowing then opening his mouth and sticking his tongue out,  
"Happy?"  
Aaron laughed, cupping the back of the man's head and kissing his temple,  
"Now eat."  
He turned back to Chas, giving her a look and then grabbing his cup of coffee before sitting down at the table to join Robert as he ate.

"Any questions?"  
Robert had barely looked at the doctor as he spoke, outlining the treatment and what was going to happen.   
"Robert?"  
He glanced at Aaron then looked at the doctor,  
"What if I say no? If I don't want it?"  
The doctor gave a small shrug,  
"Then I'll be booking you a room in a hospice."  
Robert sat back; looking down at his hands until Aaron spoke,  
"Rob..."  
He looked at him for a moment then looked away; sensing the tone in the room, the doctor stood up,  
"I'm gonna give you two a moment."  
He left the room and Aaron rubbed his face,  
"What are you playing at?"  
Robert sighed, sitting back and folding his arms,  
"What do you want me to say?"  
Aaron looked at him in shock,  
"I want you to stop acting like you're gonna just roll over and die. He's offering you a treatment. He's offering you a way to get better. Why are you acting like it doesn't matter?"  
Robert stared ahead, clenching his jaw rhythmically and digging his nails into his arm to keep from crying. Aaron scoffed and shook his head,  
"Fine."  
They sat in silence until the doctor came back in,  
"Have we made a decision?"  
Robert rubbed his face and stood up,  
"Yeah. I'll do whatever you want. Just tell me when to show up."  
The doctor glanced from him to Aaron then nodded,  
"I will get you booked in for this week. This is the right decision Robert."  
He nodded,  
"Yeah."  
He shook the doctors hand and left, ignoring Aaron completely as he walked down the hall to the exit. He didn't stop until he was at the car outside; fighting to keep his breathing normal so as not to show how out of breath he really was. Aaron glared at him as he unlocked the door, climbing in and slamming the door as Robert climbed into the passenger seat. They drove in silence. The air thick with tension. Aaron turned the engine off when they pulled up to the house then gripped the wheel. Robert undid the belt and reached for the handle; stopping when the lock clicked,  
"Open the door."  
Aaron looked at him,  
"Not until you talk to me."  
Robert pinched the bridge of his nose,  
"Open the door Aaron."  
Aaron clenched his jaw,  
"No."  
Robert looked at him then slammed his hand down hard on the dashboard,  
"OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR."  
Aaron looked at him,  
"Calm down-"  
"DO NOT TELL ME TO CALM DOWN YOU ARSEHOLE, OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR."  
Aaron clenched his jaw then pressed the button. Robert climbed from the car and stormed into the house, slamming the front door behind him, making Chas jump,  
"Robert! Is everything-"  
"What the hell are you playing at?"  
Aaron stormed in after him, taking no notice of Chas and instead throwing his keys onto the table before staring Robert down,  
"Just drop it. I'm doing what you want."  
Aaron scoffed in disbelief,  
"What I want?"  
He stepped closer,  
"I am so sorry if my wanting you to not die is selfish."  
Robert slammed his hand down,  
"It is! It is because you don't get it. You just see the end result. Everything back to normal but it doesn't work like that."  
Aaron wrapped his arms around himself, shocked at Robert's sudden outburst,  
"I know it's gonna be hard but we-"  
Robert choked out a laugh,  
"There's that stupid word again. We. We we we. There's no we. I'm the one with cancer. Me. Not you. But that doesn't matter does it?"  
Aaron frowned but Robert didn't stop,  
"You haven't ever asked me what I want. Not once. You've just decided WE have to do something. WE have to fight. And I've tried. I have tried so hard but I don't have any fight left."  
He slumped slightly, leaning against a chair,  
"I'm tired. Aaron. I'm so tired."  
His voice was cracking, exhaustion loud and clear as he spoke.  
"I am tired of being sick. All the time. Of not being able to do anything because I get winded walking down the damn stairs. I'm tired of being in pain. You have no idea what it's like. To be in so much pain you wake up and your first thought is 'I hope I die today'"  
He shrugged slightly as he watched the first tear drop from Aaron's eye, rolling ignored down his cheek,  
"I hurt. I can't eat. I can't even drink properly with these sores in my mouth. And it's just gonna get worse. Do you actually understand what I go through? Having that shit pumped into me? You say it's hard for you to watch...you're not living it. You're not living the throwing up every day. The exhaustion, the goddamn hair loss. I can't breathe sometimes it hurts so much."  
He let out a sigh as his own emotions spilled over,  
"How can I do this to you? Going through it all? How can I expect my beautiful husband to have to deal with this? When I'm too weak to get out of bed and I throw up all over myself? Or when the diarrhoea hits? Or when I'm bleeding when you try and kiss me? I can't do it."  
His legs shook as he sat down, pushing his hands through his hair and shaking his head,  
"I just want it to stop. I just want this to stop."  
Aaron moved closer; kneeling before him and taking his hands in his, his voice calm and steady,  
"Robert?"  
Robert let out a shuddering breath before meeting his eye,  
"I'm so sorry."  
Robert choked, sobs wracking through him as Aaron leant up to hug him; wrapping his arms around him and burying his face in his neck,  
"I can't do this. I can't do this anymore."  
Aaron didn't speak, he held the man, rubbing his back and whispering over and over in his ear that it was okay. He didn't even notice Chas as she slipped away, didn't hear the door close quietly, didn't know that she leant against the wall, hand clamped over her mouth as she let her own emotions run over as well.

"Robert?"  
Liv's hand was cool against his skin as he forced himself awake. He blinked several times then looked up at her,  
"Liv?"  
She nodded and sat back on her heels,  
"It's nearly two."  
He groaned as he pushed himself up,  
"I fell asleep."  
He looked around, he was still on the sofa; TV playing the news and the paper he was reading was now on the floor.  
"Where's Aaron?"  
Liv lifted herself, sitting on the edge of the coffee table,  
"He went out to get some stuff...for tomorrow."  
Robert nodded,  
"Right."  
She bit her lip then glanced around before looking at him again,  
"How're you feeling?"  
He reached over for one of the cushions and propped it against the side; leaning into it and resting his head so he could look at her, pulling the sleeves of Aaron's stolen hoodie over his hands and yawning,  
"Tired."  
Liv watched him for a moment,  
"Can I get you anything? I can make soup?"  
He grimaced,  
"Thanks but no...I don't think it'll stay down."  
She watched him, nothing but worry in her eyes. He hated it.  
"Could do with some company though? If you're not too busy?"  
She smiled,  
"No. I'm not."  
He put his arm out,  
"Think we've reached a point in our relationship for a cuddle?"  
Liv hesitated before moving, sitting then laying down on the sofa with him; pulling his arm around her and nestling her head on his other arm. They fell silent, watching the news,  
"Am I hurting you? Just tell me to move if I am."  
He shook his head slowly, his eyes closing again,  
"You're not. Don't take it personally if I fall asleep though."  
She pulled his arm more tightly around herself, gripping his hand and closing her own eyes as she heard his breathing change,  
"Love you Rob."  
He didn't answer, already fast asleep again, she didn't mind, the warmth of his skin was soothing for a girl who had feared waking up to him being dead for weeks. She reached for the remote, freezing as Robert let out a tiny snore. She smiled, changing the channel to something else and settling down until she heard the front door open.   
"Hello?"  
Liv lifted herself up carefully, making Robert shift in his sleep, she paused until he relaxed and fell asleep again then moved, smiling at Aaron as he put the bags from David's on the table,  
"Everything alright?"  
She nodded, leaning against the table,  
"He's asleep. Been asleep for a while."   
Aaron looked over at the sofa, walking around and kneeling before Robert, giving him a small smile before reaching for the blanket and pulling it over him and getting up again,  
"Has he eaten anything?"  
Liv was unpacking the shopping bags,   
"No. Offered to make him something but he just wanted to sleep."  
She paused, a carton of juice in her hand,  
"Aaron?"  
He folded one of the shopping bags and looked at her,  
"Yeah?"  
She turned slowly and looked at him,  
"Robert is gonna be okay...isn't he?"  
Aaron swallowed; he wanted to reassure her, wanted to promise he would be fine. That the cancer would go and he would be happy again.   
"I hope so."  
She nodded, turning suddenly but not fast enough for Aaron to miss her chin wobbling,  
"Hey?"  
He walked over, pulling her into his arms and hugging her,  
"It's okay."  
She gripped him tightly,  
"I don't want him to die."  
Aaron clenched his jaw,  
"Me neither."  
He held her close, letting her cry for a few minutes before pulling away; wiping her tears away and kissing her head,  
"We gotta be strong okay? Because we have it easy. He's the one going through it all."  
He winced slightly at his own words; memories of the other night still painful, guilt still stabbing at his insides,  
"We need to be here to support him. To make him feel better. Okay?"  
She nodded, wiping her eyes and sniffing,  
"Go clean up. Take some time. I don't want him worrying."  
He gave her another hug then watched her disappear up the stairs; taking a moment then checking the time. He flipped the kettle on and got a mug out, putting a teabag in and heading back to the sofa, he sat on the edge of the coffee table and pushed his fingers through Robert's hair,  
"Rob?"  
He smiled as Robert scrunched his nose before stirring,  
"Hi."  
Robert opened his eyes and looked up at Aaron, a small smile on his lips,  
"You're home."  
Aaron grinned,  
"Yeah. I got you some stuff."  
Robert nodded, shifting slightly and reaching for Aaron's hand,  
"Yeah...I'm so tired."  
Aaron leant in, pressing his lips to Robert's head,  
"I know you are. Think you can try and eat a bit? Gotta keep your strength up for tomorrow."  
Robert nodded,  
"Yeah...big day."  
Aaron smiled gently, threading his fingers through the man's hair slowly,  
"Yeah it is."  
They'd talked it through. Really talked. Aaron had listened as he let it all out, his fears, his anger. They had talked nearly all night until Robert had practically passed out, finally deciding that Robert was going to have the chemo. He was going to fight.  
"Do you want some tea?"  
Robert smirked,  
"It's gonna be that gross stuff isn't it?"  
Aaron chuckled,  
"It's good for you."  
Robert yawned,  
"Mm so's scotch."  
Aaron laughed again, leaning down to kiss him once more before standing,  
"Take your time. I'll make it."  
Robert nodded, curling up more as he fought to keep his eyes open, the world growing quiet again until Aaron touched his arm once more,  
"Don't fall asleep again."  
He groaned, forcing himself to sit up as Aaron sat opposite him,  
"Here."  
He gave Robert the mug,   
"It's cooled down."  
Robert took a sip and grimaced,  
"Ugh...god it tastes like a lawnmower."  
Aaron chuckled,  
"Drink it down slowly. It's good for your immune system."  
Robert shuddered as he took another gulp,  
"This is the worst part."  
Aaron frowned,  
"Hmm?"  
He took another drink and winced,  
"Of cancer. They don't warn you about this."  
Aaron couldn't help but chuckle,  
"So dramatic."  
Robert smiled, gripping the warm mug with both hands and shivering,  
"You okay?"  
He nodded,  
"Cold."  
Aaron undid his hoodie, pulling it off and putting it around Robert's shoulders,  
"How romantic."  
Aaron moved his hands down Robert's arms, covering his hands with his own and then pulling him in to kiss his lips,  
"I love you. You know that don't you?"  
Robert nodded,  
"I love you too."  
Aaron lifted a hand, stroking Robert's cheek gently and smiling before pressing their heads together,  
"You can do this."  
Robert closed his eyes,  
"Can I?"  
Aaron played with the hairs at the base of Robert's skull,  
"You're Robert Sugden. Of course you can. Say it."  
Robert smiled, opening his eyes again and looking into Aaron's,  
"I can do it."  
Aaron smiled,  
"That's my boy."  
He lifted his head, kissing Robert's forehead and then standing up,  
"You finish that. I'm making stir fry for tea."  
Robert took another sip of the tea,  
"Urgh Christ...."  
Aaron laughed,  
"Man up."  
Robert coughed,  
"Be nice. I'm dying."  
He took a deep breath, pinched his nose and gulped the tea down. Shuddering as he let go of his nose and the flavour overtook him, he put the mug on the table and put the hoodie on properly, pulling the sleeves over his hands and curling up on the sofa again; staring blankly at the screen until his eyes began to close again.

"Morning Robert!"  
The nurse was too cheerful; Robert hated it. She was always so happy, it made sitting in the chair with poison pumping into his veins even harder to deal with, but he considered himself lucky that he only had four more sessions. He fixed a smile on his face and sat heavily,  
"Beverly, we meet again."  
She nudged his arm,   
"You know I live for our meetings Rob. Don't be salty."  
He couldn't help the smile on his lips as he rolled his sleeve up,  
"Let's just get this over with yeah?"  
She adjusted the machine,  
"Ooh desperate for it are you?"  
He snorted and coughed as he laughed, looking up at her and sighing,  
"I'm gonna miss you Beverly."  
She handed him the squeeze ball,  
"You know the drill."  
He took the ball and clenched it tight as she slid the needle in and set him up,  
"Where's the hubby?"  
Robert tipped his head back,  
"Told him not to bother coming back."  
Beverly looked at him in shock and Robert laughed,  
"He has an appointment with the head at Liv's school."  
She adjusted the machine and squeezed his shoulder,  
"Will he be in later?"  
He looked up at her  
"Prefer him do you?"  
She sat in the seat next to him and timed his pulse,  
"Come on Robert, you know we have our special bond."  
He scoffed in amusement,  
"Yeah. Once you've held a bowl for someone to throw up into you tend to forge a bond."  
She covered his hand with hers, squeezing it gently,  
"How're you feeling?"  
He sighed,  
"I'm tired."  
He gestured at his head, covered by one of Aaron's beanies,  
"I'm a skin head."  
She gave him a small smile,  
"It's finally all gone then?"  
He sighed, resting his head back and looking at her,  
"Yeah. Shaved it in the end. Got fed up."  
He sighed again and shrugged,  
"Hopefully it'll work. And I can grow it back."  
She rubbed his arm,  
"It will. Trust me."  
He gave her a small smile,  
"Yeah."  
She checked the time then tapped his hand,  
"Right. I have others to check on."  
She stood up and stroked his cheek gently,  
"Have a sleep. It'll be over before you know it."  
He nodded, his eyes already heavy. Watching her leave the room before shifting and letting them close.   
"Rob?"  
He opened his eyes slowly and smiled at the sight of Aaron,  
"Hey."  
Aaron smiled at him,  
"Lazy bum. You slept through the whole thing."  
Robert looked over at his arm, in surprise as he noticed the tubes and machines were gone,  
"Oh..."  
Aaron grinned,  
"Beverly tried waking you. Didn't work."  
Robert rubbed his eyes,  
"I'm so tired I just went."  
Aaron cupped his cheek; chewing his lip as he watched, concerned over his husband,  
"What?"  
He shook his head, he didn't want to add to Robert's stress,  
"Nothing."  
He stood up,  
"Come on. Let's go home eh?"  
Robert groaned as he stood up, gripping Aaron's arm and shaking his head until he stopped feeling dizzy then grabbed his jacket, taking Aaron's hand in his, he followed him out.

"Is he okay?"  
Aaron was on the way back to the bathroom with a damp cloth and a bottle of water when Liv stepped from her bedroom,  
"He'll be fine. Go back to bed. I'm sorry we woke you."  
Robert was sleeping most of the time. On the sofa then upstairs. The short walk tiring him out. He hadn't made it out of bed before he threw up. Vomit covered the bedding and the floor as it came up over and over. Aaron had helped him, one arm wrapped around his waist and the other under his chin to catch the next lot on the way to the bathroom. He couldn't stop, retching until nothing else was coming up. Until tears were streaming down his cheeks and he was begging to just make it stop. Aaron returned to him, stopping in the doorway at the sight of his husband, skinny and pale, wearing only boxers as he sat on the floor, head on the toilet seat, sick on his chin and eyes squeezed shut as he sobbed. It broke Aaron's heart. He knelt down, swallowing the lump in his throat as he cleaned the man up,  
"Sit up, come on."  
Robert moved slowly,  
"That's it."  
"I can't do this anymore Aaron. Please. Please make it stop. Please."  
He sounded like such a little boy that if Aaron didn't know any better he would believe he was one. He wiped the man's tears away and kissed his head,  
"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. I wish I could. I wish I could for you."  
Robert sobbed, a broken sound that that turned into a choke, he lurched forward, throwing up again into the bowl. He gasped for breath then spat,  
"I wish it would just kill me."  
Aaron rubbed his back slowly, dabbing the back of the man's neck with the damp cloth,  
"Shh shh shh."  
He kissed his head again and looked away as Robert gagged and vomited once more.  
"I'm gonna call someone. A doctor-"  
"No. No...no doctors."  
Aaron hesitated,  
"Robert you're not well-"  
"I said no! I don't want them to come."  
He tried to calm himself, breathing becoming hard.  
"If they come...they'll make me go to hospital. And I don't wanna go there."  
Aaron cupped his face,  
"Okay...okay I won't. I won't call them."  
He glanced around,  
"I'm gonna just change the bed. You stay here."  
Robert put his head back down on his arm and shut his eyes. Aaron climbed to his feet and ran down the stairs to grab what he needed before heading back to the room to clear the mess up again.

It was the machine that woke him; the steady beep of the monitor, the bright light of the hospital room. He groaned as he opened his eyes, looking around before seeing Aaron in the chair beside the bed.  
"Aaron?"  
He looked up, his eyes were red. He had been crying,  
"Hi you..."  
He moved to the edge of the bed, taking Robert's hand in his,  
"Vic's here. Diane too. They went to get a cuppa."  
Robert glanced around,  
"What happened?"  
Aaron swallowed,  
"I had to break a promise. I'm sorry."  
Robert frowned,  
"The chemo?"  
Aaron frowned slightly,  
"What about it?"  
Roberts eyes began to close again,  
"I missed it."  
Aaron stroked his cheek, waking him again,  
"Chemo finished. Remember?"  
He blinked; his memory foggy,  
"No."  
Aaron sniffed,  
"You finished it and then you got sick."  
He nodded slowly, sinking back into the cushions as he began to drift off again. Dozing until Victoria came in and leant down to kiss his head,  
"S'alright if I stay in bed."  
She smiled,  
"Course it is."  
She sat down, taking his hand,  
"Hey?"  
Robert turned his head and looked at her,  
"Hmm?"  
She stroked his arm,  
"Everyone is sending their love. You've got a whole pile of get well cards. Pretty sure everyone in the village has sent one."  
He blinked, unable to keep his mind in one place, looking over at Aaron,  
"When did I finish the chemo?"  
He rubbed his arm,  
"Couple days ago."  
He nodded again,  
"Right."  
Victoria looked at Aaron in concern then back to Robert,  
"Hey? David sent you a box of stuff, things that helped him when he was recovering."  
Robert nodded slowly, his eyes closing again,  
"I'm tired."  
Aaron lifted his hand and kissed it,  
"You sleep."  
Robert grunted in response, his head dropping to the side as he fell back into slumber.

"Aaron?"  
He reached out slowly, touching the man's arm and starting him awake,  
"What's wrong?"  
Robert smiled at him in amusement,  
"Nothing. I just wanted to talk to you."  
Aaron rubbed his eyes and sat forward, taking Robert's hand in his,  
"What's up?"  
Robert shifted on the bed, the drip attached to his arm stopping him and he sat back,  
"I wanted to talk to you."  
Aaron shifted closer,  
"Talk about what?"  
Robert looked at him,  
"About what happens if they tell us tomorrow that it didn't work."  
Aaron looked away,  
"Robert-"  
"Don't...don't just...let me. Okay?"  
He took a deep breath,  
"I need you to know a couple things."  
Aaron fought to keep his eye, a lump already solid in his throat as Robert began to speak,  
"I need you to know...how much I love you. And how I couldn't do this without you. Not for one second. I am so in love with you Aaron Dingle."  
Aaron lost the fight, a tear spilling down his cheek, he brushed it away quickly and sniffed, reaching over to cup Robert's cheek,  
"I'm so scared Aaron. Not...not of dying. Just...not having you."  
Aaron shook his head,  
"No...no you'll always have me. Always."  
Robert covered the hand on his cheek with his own,  
"I've written letters...to everyone. They're in the safe. And all my paperwork is in there. I need you to know now. In case I don't get a chance to tell you."  
Aaron scrunched his face, looking down as more tears came.  
"I just...want to say thank you. For you. For loving me. You make me so happy. And if this is the end...if this is how I go...then know I'm going loved, and happy. But I don't want to say goodbye to you."  
Aaron ignored more tears as they fell, Robert's own eyes spilling over,  
"Shhh it's okay."  
Robert gave a sad smile,  
"I've been the luckiest man in the world...to have your heart. My beautiful boy."  
Aaron moved then, pressing a kiss to his lips and laying down, half on the bed, his head on Robert's chest, hand still cupping his cheek as they lay together,  
"I love you."  
Robert kissed Aaron's head,  
"I love you more."  
He held Aaron closely, the room silent except for the occasional sniff and the steady beep of the machines.

Robert's hands were shaking; whether from nerves or just the state he was in he didn't know. Aaron took his hand and gripped it,  
"Whatever happens..."  
"I know."  
He let out a long breath, starting when the door opened and the doctor walked in,  
"Sorry to keep you waiting, we have a bit of a back log today."  
He shook his hand, too tired to attempt to stand from the wheelchair,  
"How are you feeling?"  
Robert sighed,  
"Like I've been dragged through a wood chipper."  
The doctor smiled at him as he pulled out the file,  
"It's understandable, the treatment is hard. It's meant to be."  
He looked through the file quickly,  
"The anti nausea medication is working?"  
Robert nodded,  
"So far."  
He gave him a smile,  
"Well your vitals are looking good."  
He gave a hopeful smile,  
"Good like...not gonna die?"  
The doctor chuckled,  
"Well...you will die one day. But not right now. Relax Mr Sugden. The chemo worked. The cells we couldn't remove are gone. The cancer hasn't spread, bar the dehydration from the stomach bug and the general weakness you get after a heavy does, you're doing great."  
Robert was in shock, he could see the doctor smiling, could hear Aaron's voice, full of relief and joy. He couldn't believe it,  
"It worked?"  
The doctor nodded,  
"It worked."  
Robert let out a laugh; verging on hysterical,  
"I'm gonna be okay?"  
Aaron was hugging him then, kissing his head and telling him he loved him over and over,  
"I'm gonna be okay."  
He couldn't feel anything, could barely hear over the sound of his own heart hammering. Relief flooding him until he was in tears,  
"Oh my god."  
He covered his face with his hands as he sobbed,  
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry."  
The doctor waved him away,  
"As long as they're happy tears."  
He lifted his head and let out a laugh,  
"They are. They are."  
He sniffed,  
"Thank you. Thank you for saving me."  
The doctor grinned,  
"You did all the hard work Robert. But you're welcome. Now, not in a mean way but I hope I never see you again."  
Robert wiped his nose,  
"Ha, me too."  
He looked at Aaron,  
"You can forget everything I said to you yesterday. At least for a few years."  
Aaron let out a laugh, leaning over and kissing him,  
"You're going nowhere."  
Robert let out a laugh, pulling him in and hugging him tightly.

"You done?"  
Robert nodded, head lolling against Aaron's shoulder; they'd been at the pub for a couple of hours. An impromptu party thrown in Robert's honour when he got home. He had spent half of it laughing with Adam and Aaron, nursing a lemonade and wishing it was something stronger. Everyone had been in, telling him how happy they were he was better, how relieved, he had felt awkward, sitting in a hoodie now too big, a hat to cover his baldness, exhausted by the walk from their house. He was now sitting with Aaron in the corner, talking and watching everyone.   
"I wanna go away."  
Aaron put his drink down; he'd swapped back to soft drinks early on, wanting a clear head for Robert in the night if he needed him,  
"You wanna leave?"  
Robert lifted his head,  
"No I wanna go away. For a few days. You, me, Liv and Chas. I wanna just...go and relax somewhere."  
Aaron kissed his head,  
"Okay. I'll book us somewhere. Where are you thinking?"  
Robert sighed happily,  
"Mum talked about Cornwall when I was little. How much she enjoyed it as a kid. I think I'd like to go there."  
Aaron nodded slowly, rubbing his thumb along Robert's wedding ring slowly,  
"Cornwall eh? For the surfing or the pasties?"  
Robert laughed,  
"Both. Pasties on the beach."  
Aaron chuckled, kissing his head gently,  
"Sounds perfect."  
Robert smiled,  
"Can we go home soon? I'm tired out."  
Aaron kissed his head again,  
"Course we can."  
He climbed from the booth,  
"Come on then husband."  
Robert smiled, giving him his hand and standing up,  
"Take me home."  
Aaron said their goodbyes, leaving Robert to lean on the counter with a promise that he would be back in a few days to thank them again. He took Aaron's hand, and together they walked back to the house.

Marlon had just finished pulling a pint and placing it in front of Cain when his phone went off. He pulled it out and checked it, one email had arrived.  
"Oh its Chas."  
Cain raised an eyebrow,  
"Checking up on you is she?"  
Marlon scoffed,  
"Like she'd have to. I run a tight ship."  
He opened it,  
"From Robert apparently."  
He scanned the first line then looked up,  
"Oi listen up. Got a message from Robert to everyone."  
The few people in the pub at half two in the afternoon looked up, falling quiet as Marlon began to read,

  
" _Hello everyone at the pub. Or just the one person reading this. I know letters like this are a bit old fashioned but that seems to be my style now. Guess the whole nearly dying thing makes you age a bit faster. I just wanted to write, as a thank you to you all. The support, kindness and friendship you've shown us over the last few months has meant the world. I know I'm not the most favourable person there and that's understandable, but the love and kindness you showed Aaron and Liv has made this whole thing easier. The one thing I never felt I had to worry about was leaving Aaron because I know he will never be alone. I can't explain the comfort that has bought me. But enough melancholy. It's a beautiful day here in Cornwall. The sea is calm and the sun is warm. Aaron has been up for hours already, enjoying the fresh air. He went fishing earlier, I wanted to join him but someone had to keep an eye on the beer supply. He caught a trout, he was so proud it was brilliant. He said he's gonna google how to cook it. Proper hunter gatherer that one. Liv is smiling, it's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. I think we've found a beach lover in her. Chas is fussing, but she's smiling too, she and Aaron went on a walk along the coast yesterday as Liv and I watched movies. He found another fossil, its in my pocket now. I'm never giving it up. The look on his face was amazing. I think I'll remember it forever. I hope everyone is doing well, I hope you're all enjoying this time. It must be nice and quiet without us all there. Tell Jimmy I want my desk exactly how it was when I left it. It's a beautiful evening here, the sun is setting and Aaron is beside me. Liv is now collecting seashells to make a jar and Chas is reading a magazine, catching the last of the rays. I can hear the sea, it's perfect. Don't miss us too much will you? Aaron says hello. Chas is coming inside soon, there's a seagull eyeing up her bag of crisps. Liv is still collecting shells. I think she's found a new hobby. I tried asking her but she told me to mind my own."_

  
He stopped and Harriet raised her eyebrows,  
"Go on."  
Marlon shrugged,  
"That's all there is...oh hang on."  
He scrolled down and read a bit more as everyone chatted about the note, about Robert. It was Debbie that noticed his face,  
"Marlon?"  
He looked up, cleared his throat and held the home up slightly,  
"It's a note from Chas."  
"Done a runner has she?"  
The comment was met with a laugh but Marlon wasn't. Debbie swallowed hard, almost sensing what was coming,  
"Marlon?"  
He rubbed his nose,  
"Robert-"  
He cleared his throat again,

  
_"Robert died last night. At quarter past nine. He had been doing well. The doctors said it wasn't the cancer, instead his heart just couldn't take anymore. He wasn't in any pain. He wasn't scared, he was happy, and peaceful. He died in Aaron's arms and that's where he stayed until they came to get him. I'm sending you the email he wrote because he wanted to tell you all how much he appreciated all of your support. It really did mean a lot that Aaron and Liv would have support no matter what happened. We won't be back for a while. Aaron and Liv need some time to process and grieve. This wasn't expected, and we need your friendship and love more than ever. Thank you all. Chas."_

  
The pub was silent; shock settled over everyone as Marlon put the phone down and tried to compose himself,  
"That's that I suppose."  
Debbie threw Cain a dirty look,  
"Why'd you say it like that? He's family. Sort of."  
He looked at her for a moment then nodded,  
"You're right. The lad's one of ours."  
He exhaled sharply and sat up, lifting his pint into the air,  
"Here's to Robert."  
Everyone else lifted their drinks, a solemn chorus of voices filling the room as the mirrored the sentiment,  
"To Robert."

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry....also little ER reference in there if anyone picks up on it...


End file.
